Episode 24. In which I am ridiculously clumsy.

This morning I went to make a cup of tea.  I stuck my hand in the teabag box only to find it empty, but I managed to put aside the question of why the hell an empty teabag box had been left in the cupboard, because I’m the kind of gal that makes sure there’s a fresh box before the old one runs out.  I put the empty box on the bin (where I could break it down later) and picked up the new box to open it.

I should’ve expected the next bit, really.

The new box was somehow jammed against the Canderel, and when I tried to pick it up it knocked the Canderel, which in turn knocked the porridge oats, which in turn knocked the (glass) jar of coffee right out of the cupboard, where it bounced on a glass (smashing it, of course) and landed on my foot.  Which hurt.  Quite a lot.  I also had to avoid the broken bits of glass all over the floor, but surprisingly enough I managed that bit.

I am a clumsy person by nature, I always have been.

I once fell off my brother’s bike and the handlebar stabbed me in the tummy.  I still have quite a scar.

While I was writing my last dissertation I slipped and fell over (the dangers of walking around in socks on floorboards) and did some pretty serious damange to my wrist – I never went to the doctor but I’m sure one day I’ll go in for an x-ray and they’ll find some old fracture that self-healed.

A couple of years ago I dropped my haircurlers while I was using them and got an interestingly-shaped scar.

As a child I smacked my head off a concrete step at school playing the stupidest game ever invented by children, “Stair Tig”.  I distinctly remember being sent home for the day and watching El Cid with my mum.  My clearest memory of the afternoon is asking my mum if they’d put a plank up the dead man’s bum to make him stay on the horse.

Shortly thereafter, during gym class, a basketball hoop fell down its pole trapping my finger and shredding it quite grotesquely.  Sent home again.

Very recently I fell up a set of steps outside my office and messed up my knee just like I did every other week when I was young.

At the age of 17 I fell over on my way to school.  I actually fell over, grazed my knees, and had to walk all through the town centre and then through the school with scraped knees and blood running down to my socks.  I’m pretty sure the 1st years were laughing at me.  And I must confess when the guidance teacher asked if I was OK my answer was very sarcastic and pretty bitchy.  But then it was a stupid question.

In short, I should really pay more attention to everything I do, everywhere I put my feet, everything I’m picking up and everything I’m putting down, I should concentrate my full awareness on one thing at a time and if I don’t I’m asking for trouble.

So, basically, every time I do anything at all whatsoever, I’m asking for trouble.

That’s alright, I’m used to it by now.

Diabetic moment of the day

I was very clever last night, I wasn’t sure about how much insulin to take for the pork and veggie kebabs, so I took the bare minimum then checked my blood every ten minutes to see how it was doing.  This is how I knew when it was dropping too fast, and ate some Haribo before going to bed so it wouldn’t drop to hypo levels while I was asleep.

That’s planning, that is.


2 Responses to “Episode 24. In which I am ridiculously clumsy.”

  1. I can’t decide if it’s better to spread out all your clumsy or save it all up for one big clumsy. I think your method is probably the most sound.

  2. diabetses Says:

    The thing is, I couldn’t save up my clumsy if I tried, it reaches critical mass and leaks out a bit at a time. But your way didn’t work out too badly. For some reason.

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