Episode 27. In which we hark back to primary school.

When I was in about 9, my teacher set the class a task, it took most of the morning and I found it incredibly pointless. She had decided that we were using a certain word far too much, and told us to write an essay about how we spent a normal day, without using this one word, or any version of it.

The word was get.

Now, think about it for a minute.  You’re nine, and you have to write an essay without the word get in it.  Describing your day.  It sounds alright, no big thing.

I woke up.

Great so far.

I got out of bed.”

Shit.  How do you say that in posh?

I arose.

That sounds stupid, but whatever, I can’t think of anything else.

I got dressed.


I dressed myself.

That makes it sound like dressing myself a massive achievement, like at the age of nine I should be proud of getting my shirt on the right way round or something, but it’ll do.

I went downstairs and got prepared my breakfast.  I got ready collected my things and walked to school. When I got there arrived, I found my friends and played hopscotch until the bell went.  We went to class and I hung up my coat then got collected my pencilcase from my tray.  I got retrieved my homework from my bag and then we did maths.  At playtime I ate my Milky Way and played Red Rover.  Then we did music.  At lunchtime I sat beside Clare and got was given a second helping of pudding.  In the afternoon we did English and then I learned a poem and then we went home.  When I got arrived home I did my homework and watched Grange Hill, then had dinner.  I played with the dog and then we watched Brookside and I went to bed.”

What I want to know is where is the harm in a nine-year-old using the word get?  It felt weird, having to use big words that I’m quite proud of knowing at the time but that I wasn’t entirely 100% certain I was using right, just because that old battleaxe got a bee in her bonnet that her primary six class weren’t eloquent enough.

In conclusion, hey, teacher, leave those kids alone.

Diabetic moment of the day

I’ve had a couple of shaky moments this week, mid-afternoon, so today I took a little less post-lunch insulin.  Instead of 6 units of Novorapid, I took 4.  Sure enough, come 3pm, I get the shakes.  Clearly my pancreas is just fucking with my head.


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