Archive for the ancient history Category

Episode 58. In which I shamelessly paste in something I wrote on Facebook last night.

Posted in ancient history, food, Music, people with tags , , , , , , , , on February 7, 2009 by diabetses

Facebook, like any social networking site, has its share of what used to be chain letters floating round the place.  The most recent one is called 25 things.  For this, you write a list of 25 facts about yourself – likes, dislikes, anecdotes, tendencies, whatever you want.  I spent a good four hours trying to think of 25 things about myself worth telling anyone, and ended up with maybe 10 things worth saying, and 15 more that happened to cross my mind.  Since my sinuses are trying to claw their way out through my face I am going to steal what I wrote last night for today’s blog post.  It’s not really cheating, the bloody thing didn’t get published until gone midnight.

There are a couple of differences between the Facebook version and the Diabetses version, just because a few more have crossed my mind since then, so I’ve taken out the crap ones I did last night and replaced them with something that may (or may not, don’t get greedy) be worth reading instead.

Here we go.

25 things

1. My middle name is Grace.  This is very pretty, but ultimately incredibly ironic.

2. I have some grey hairs. This doesn’t bother me at all, one day I hope to look just like Helen Daniels. With slightly less frog DNA. I do dye my hair but that is because I stupidly dyed my hair red about 5 years ago and red dye is impossible to bleach out or dye over. I am on a mission to find my natural hair colour again, through a process of comparison with my roots.

3. I don’t eat, nor can I bring myself to look at, or think too hard about, water-dwelling creatures. This includes fish, shellfish, crustaceans and cephalopods. Anything that lives in water, even just part-time, freaks me out beyond belief.

4. I have a shelf for artwork made by my friends. I have some very creative friends and I hope they realise that I wouldn’t put their artwork on my shelf unless I loved it.

5. I have just re-read Executive Orders by Tom Clancy for about the sixth time. It is one of the longest books I’ve ever read, but it’s one of my favourites.

6. The first single I ever bought, as far as I recall, was Addams Groove by MC Hammer, which was the theme song to the first Addams Family movie in the 90s.

7. I am the middle of three children. I was therefore bullied by both siblings. I never got to do anything cos I wasn’t the oldest, and I never got given anything cos I wasn’t the youngest. I am also the older of two girls. We were often given the same presents at Christmas, but in different colours – the baby got to pick which she wanted, and I got the one that was left. I am now a bitter, twisted person, probably as a direct result of this.

8. I don’t like swimming. I learned as a child but I have since developed a terrifying tendency towards foot cramps, and if I don’t have something to flatten my feet against, I can’t handle it. Which makes swimming a pretty pointless process.

9. I like chocolate a lot more in theory than in practice. My downfall is cheesecake.

10. That little girl in the new Dairy Milk advert, the one in the purple dress, with the glasses, and the eyebrow dancing, and the pink balloon, she reminds me of my sister when she was little. Although I happen to know she hates that advert.

11. Last Valentines Day I got 5olly a crate of Kronenbourg.

12. I used to hate Diet Coke, I thought it tasted like poison. Now I can’t really taste the difference between Diet Coke and full-sugar Coke, other than full-sugar Coke tastes like pure syrup, and leaves me feeling like I just drank glue.

13. My favourite Jackass dude is Ryan Dunn.

14. I play the viola. I don’t actively play it right now, but I had lessons when I was at school, from Primary 4 to 6th year (secondary), so ten years in total, and I have played in a couple of orchestras since then. My viola hasn’t been out of its case, however, in a few years now, and I’m starting to wonder whether I should just sell her.

15. I know the name of the horse whose head ends up in the movie mogul’s bed in The Godfather.

16. Once, when I was a child, I was having a snowball fight with some friends, and a boy in my class came up behind me and rubbed a handful of snow in my face. But he’d just picked it up from the car park and it was full of gravel, so when I ran home crying, I turned up bleeding from the face, although I don’t remember feeling a thing. Probably cos snow is cold.

17. I don’t get art. The artwork my friends gave me that sits on my shelf, I love it because my friends did it, and I can identify the pictures. I have no time or respect for a slash in a jute canvas, it is not a ‘bold work’ or ‘genius’ or ‘original’, it is a hole in a piece of jute. I’m from Dundee, they’ve got pieces of jute full of holes all over the frigging place.

18. I am very black and white when it comes to empathy. I will laugh like a drain if someone I don’t like gets what’s coming to them. However, if this involves actual physical injury I will flinch and sympathise and wish it hadn’t happened, regardless of how much or how little I like the victim.

19. My nickname was Bess when I was little. I don’t remember when or how Betsy came about, but I do remember being called Bess.

20. On my left hand, I can wiggle my pinkie finger independently of my ring finger.

21. I do not travel well. I get travelsick in any vehicle at all. I can mitigate the symptoms by opening lots of windows and staying very cold, because being cold takes my mind off everything and makes me feel a lot better. Most of the reason I feel ill when travelling is down to panicking about what would happen if I started to feel ill. This means that I spend three hours of every working day breathing deeply and trying to calm down and telling myself I can get off at the next stop if I need to and wait for another train with fewer people and more windows and it’ll be fine.

22. Everyone wishes they had my fringe. Although I trimmed it myself just this evening, and I think I really fucked it up. Everyone still wants it.

23. When I was little, and I had bad dreams, they would be about gnomes, marching in circles and chanting in unison, but that’s not what freaked me out. What would freak me out is that the perspective would shift completely at random – one second they’d be right up close then far, far away, then right up close again, and their chanting voices would be really loud, then really distant, then really loud again, at random,

24. When I was in high school, I was pushed (kind of accidentally) down a flight of stairs. I flew over the heads of the two people in front of me and landed near the bottom, and bounced down the last three steps on my face. I still had to go to class and then walk home afterwards.

25. I have an MSc.

Diabetic moment of the day

It’s been alright today.  Although I’m not feeling very well.  For this reason, I didn’t eat anything until about 2pm, and I’ve felt a bit sick all afternoon.  I just had a cheese omelette and I’m not taking any insulin for that cos there’s nothing in it to mess up my blood sugar.  I kind of want to just shoot up about 5 units and eat sugar until it works itself out.

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Episode 29. In which I tell you a series of random, unrelated incidents from my childhood.

Posted in ancient history, people with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2009 by diabetses
  • When I was little, I was a lovely little girl, and when we got sweets I would share them.  Within reason, of course, I’m not weird, but I’d offer one to my mum of course.  Whenever we got Smarties, mum would always have the orange ones.  I didn’t mind, because all Smarties are the same, right?  Wrong.  The orange ones are orange-flavoured.  That is to say, chocolate orange flavoured.  Which is the best flavour of chocolate there is.  Because red and blue and brown and yellow and green all tasted like normal chocolate, it never crossed my mind that the orange ones tasted different.  And it wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I realised that I found out.  I’m not saying my mum cheated me out of a childhood experience.  I’m just saying if you share your stuff with people, they’ll take the best stuff.
  • Where I grew up we had a lot of snow.  Every single year there would be at least one week when the schools were closed because of the snow.  My schools (primary and secondary) had quite a lot of people in them from the glens behind my hometown, and they would get cut off quickly, and so the kids that got buses would get to go home really early.  Eventually they’d have to send the rest of us home too.  One time they shut the school and about ten minutes later my little sister got home.  A little while later, my big brother got home.  Half an hour later, I still wasn’t home.  There was a bit of a panic, and one of my parents (I forget which) walked up to the school to see if I was anywhere along the way.  They found me in the little car park directly opposite the primary school, walking backwards, in little circles, reading my book.  I was probably about seven.  I like books.
  • I was a huge New Kids On The Block fan.  I hated Take That, cos let’s face it, they’re no NKOTB.  I knew all the words to the songs, and all the words to the raps in the songs, and when me and my friends sang in the playground, I’d be Donnie.
  • I started playing the viola when I was about six, and tried to quit at least five times but was too scared of my teacher.  The last orchestra I played with was the Tayside Symphony Orchestra in 2004, so clearly fear is a great educational tool.  I own a viola to this day, although she hasn’t been out of her case in about four years, and I will surely go to hell for the waste of her.
  • I distinctly remember being too young to stay up for Brookside, and having to go to bed as soon as the theme music started at the start, and then being old enough for Brookside and not having to go to bed until the theme music finished at the end.
  • I had my first communion a year older than I probably should’ve, because I stayed back to do it at the same time as my sister.  During the preparation stages our priest (who was quite new at the time) was a bit of a dick, and he said that if I got it wrong he’d crucify me.  I laughed cos I thought it was a pretty funny concept (think about it) and he glared at me.  That may have been the first time I genuinely didn’t care that an authority figure didn’t like me, cos I didn’t like him first.
  • I have read all the Asterix books and most of TinTin, because I grew out of the rest of the local library catalogue very quickly.  I also read about ten of Stephen King’s books before I was 12, at which point I decided they were all the same and I haven’t bothered to read another since.  Except The Stand.  Obviously.
  • One day, in Carnoustie, a strange girl in the park threw a brick at me.

Diabetic moment of the day

I can’t eat orange Smarties any more.  Isn’t that enough for you people?

Episode 27. In which we hark back to primary school.

Posted in ancient history with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2009 by diabetses

When I was in about 9, my teacher set the class a task, it took most of the morning and I found it incredibly pointless. She had decided that we were using a certain word far too much, and told us to write an essay about how we spent a normal day, without using this one word, or any version of it.

The word was get.

Now, think about it for a minute.  You’re nine, and you have to write an essay without the word get in it.  Describing your day.  It sounds alright, no big thing.

I woke up.

Great so far.

I got out of bed.”

Shit.  How do you say that in posh?

I arose.

That sounds stupid, but whatever, I can’t think of anything else.

I got dressed.

Shit.

I dressed myself.

That makes it sound like dressing myself a massive achievement, like at the age of nine I should be proud of getting my shirt on the right way round or something, but it’ll do.

I went downstairs and got prepared my breakfast.  I got ready collected my things and walked to school. When I got there arrived, I found my friends and played hopscotch until the bell went.  We went to class and I hung up my coat then got collected my pencilcase from my tray.  I got retrieved my homework from my bag and then we did maths.  At playtime I ate my Milky Way and played Red Rover.  Then we did music.  At lunchtime I sat beside Clare and got was given a second helping of pudding.  In the afternoon we did English and then I learned a poem and then we went home.  When I got arrived home I did my homework and watched Grange Hill, then had dinner.  I played with the dog and then we watched Brookside and I went to bed.”

What I want to know is where is the harm in a nine-year-old using the word get?  It felt weird, having to use big words that I’m quite proud of knowing at the time but that I wasn’t entirely 100% certain I was using right, just because that old battleaxe got a bee in her bonnet that her primary six class weren’t eloquent enough.

In conclusion, hey, teacher, leave those kids alone.

Diabetic moment of the day

I’ve had a couple of shaky moments this week, mid-afternoon, so today I took a little less post-lunch insulin.  Instead of 6 units of Novorapid, I took 4.  Sure enough, come 3pm, I get the shakes.  Clearly my pancreas is just fucking with my head.