Archive for the inanimate objects Category

Episode 120. In which I am a terrible blogger.

Posted in diabetes, Henry, home, inanimate objects, people, Uncategorized, weather on September 8, 2011 by diabetses

Forgive me, reader, for I have sinned. It’s been about nine months since my last blog post. A lot has happened in that time.

Let me just cut you off at the pass here and reassure you that babies do not feature in those 9 months. At all. Complete lack of babies. No babies here.

So let me try and bring you up to date, month by month. I apologise if I forget anything, but do keep in mind, I’m not a very good person.

December 2010. *stares at screen for ten minutes* Well this is a good start. What the hell did I do in December? Oh, I know what I did. I went to bed on Christmas Eve happy, and woke up on Christmas Day with a big ugly burn on my arm. I slept on my hot water bottle, you see. Which burned my arm so I had a big blister. Mister had to go out and borrow a bandage from the first aid kit at the pub. This led to my new years resolution, on which more will follow.

January 2011. I started a new blog, called Clumsy Diabetic. Basically I am cataloguing all my self-inflicted injuries, and counting my new scars. If I get five new scars this year, I will, get a tattoo. *spoiler alert: I have more than five new scars already.*

February 2011. I got a manicure. I know this is lame. But I did. Mister went away for a week and while he was gone I just pottered around, as one does, and then I went out and got a manicure. I went to Lanes Health and Beauty, and had a nice relaxing half an hour. It was pretty.

March 2011. We moved house! From a flat, into a house, actually. With a garden. I know! It’s lovely.

April 2011. I don’t remember what happened then. Presumably we unpacked and got settled into the new house, the new commute and all that.

May 2011. May kind of sucked, and kind of didn’t, but I mostly want to cry when I think about it.  Our awesome cat, Henry, loved by everyone who met him, the cat most like a person that I will ever meet, I am sure, got sick very quickly and died. It was devastating, I was broken, and it hurt. It still hurts. I feel like I let him down, like it’s my fault, like if only I could hold him it would all be ok again. But he’s gone, and it’s shit. After a while, because the house felt so empty, we went to the RSPCA to start the process of adopting another cat, and happened to fall in love with two, a brother and sister, who we somehow managed to adopt really quickly. We named them Margot and Jerry, collectively known as The Leadbetters.

June 2011. I had my birthday! Happy birthday, me, you’re 32 now. I had a lovely, lovely day in the Northern Lights Scandinavian bar in Brighton, where they gave me a free shot of some liqueur that smelled very strongly of Fisherman’s Friend. It took me all afternoon to drink it, including watering it down as much as possible, and I still handed the glass back with more in the dregs than there would have been had it been, say strawberry cheesecake flavoured liqueur.

July 2011. Well, July was good. In July I was unemployed for a week, after my contract ended at my job, then I got another job, at the same place, and was employed again. Permanent contract this time, which is reassuring. And then, at the end of the month, I met Caitlin Moran. I went to an event for her book, which is brilliant in case you didn’t know already, and waited afterwards to get her to sign my copy. Which she did, very graciously. And she recognised my name from Twitter. And I totally spazzed out, because I love her work and her book and her sense of humour, and even just my name taking up a micron of her brainspace is amazing.

August 2011. August was my man’s 40th birthday month. I got him presents he had asked for, and we had a kind of dinner party, where I cooked a bunch of tapas type stuff that turned out quite nicely. Later in the month my mum visited, which was brilliant, and I made her a roast dinner, all by myself. And even later in the month, I got a Touchpad. It was a late birthday present from mister, he really is far too good for me. 🙂

September 2011. And here we are. So far, the rest of the year is planned out as a bunch of brilliant things. In a couple of weeks my sister comes to stay for a week. In early October I have to go to a conference in London which means I get to spend an evening with my best friend. And then at the end of October she is coming to stay for a weekend. In November my best friend from high school might be down here from scotland for a conference, and I will get to hang out with her, which would be cool beyond words. And then at Christmas, mister and I are going to Scotland. The flights are booked and everything, we’ll be up there for nine days in total. Mister has never been to my hometown, and I’m hoping to show him a proper white Christmas (one of the ones where you couldn’t leave the house even if you wanted to) and I can’t wait to show him where I grew up.

However, I will try to blog more.


I promise to try.

Diabetic moment of the day

So far ok, I think. Oh, I left the house without my insulin kit this morning and only realised when I was at the bus stop so I had to come all the way home for it. I am a twat. This isn’t news.


Episode 107. In which yo no soy española.

Posted in food, home, inanimate objects, weather with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2009 by diabetses

Today I have achieved a lot, I think.  I don’t feel massively exhausted by it, which is a risk when you do a lot after a hard week.

I am sitting in my living room, which is clearer since I finished a lot of unpacking, looks nicer since I sorted out the stuff that had been dumped on top of the DVD unit and the DVDs themselves, and is nice and lightbecause it’s a bright evening, in spite of the rain.  I can smell the chilli con carne I made from scratch, which has been simmering away in the slow cooker for the last four hours, ensuring it’ll be well and truly infused by the time we eat in another hour or two.  If I can wait that long.  I am just home from a refreshing stroll through the drizzle to the shops, where I bought the finishing touches for dinner (rice and freshly baked pitta bread), and so much San Miguel that the guy in the off licence asked if I was Spanish.
Yo no soy española.

Diabetic moment of the day

I haven’t had one today.  Which makes me suspicious.


Episode 100. In which I make a good day happen.

Posted in home, inanimate objects, shopping, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2009 by diabetses

First things first, I bloody did publish this yesterday, I sat and waited for ages while the little blue circle spun and then it told me that the post was published, and now it’s taking it back.  So screw you, WordPress, you’re really starting to piss me off.

And now for what I wrote yesterday.

I decided that today would be a good day.  I decided this a couple of days ago, but I really was pretty confident that I could make it happen.  And it turns out I was right.

We got up quite early and I went out for a pint of milk.  Then I spent a couple of hours pampering and preening, cleansing, toning and moisturising, and then I went out to the shops.  I just wanted to cheer myself up a bit, try on some pretty dresses, so I headed straight for Monsoon.  However, Monsoon happened to have a 50% off sale on at the moment, so I ended up buying a pretty dress.

This was quite an unnecessary treat for me so to make the day less selfish I went and got a load of cleaning products for the flat – we didn’t have a mop, and when we were cleaning the old flat before we handed back the keys I fell in love with the squeegee (?) so I went and got us one of those as well.

When I got home I just relaxed really.  Watched a load of telly.  Had a nice nap.  Watched some Supernatural and did a bit of paperwork, and then ate the gorgeous dinner My Man made for me and now we’re watching Bill Bailey.  V+ from last night.

And now I’m going to bed.  Nighty night.

Diabetic moment of the day

Not today, Josephine.  I’m all good.

Episode 99. In which Oh My God what a bloody day.

Posted in food, inanimate objects with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2009 by diabetses

This week I’ve found it really hard to get out of bed, so I’ve been running a little bit late all week, although not late enough to cause any trouble.

This morning, however, everything went wrong.

Just as I was about to leave, I went to put the peanut butter on my toast (I bring peanut butter on cold toast to work for breakfast)  and dropped the peanut butter.  Which, of course, hit everything on the way down and then smashed on the floor.

I couldn’t find my watch, which is one of those things that I get irrational about, not least because my watch stays with my ring, which I got for my 21st birthday from my mother and which I don’t like not knowing the whereabouts of.  I also just can’t handle not knowing the time, not having it right where I can see it, I’m just uncomfortable without my watch.

As we were heading out the door, I realised I’d forgotten my phone.  Again, I don’t like not having my phone, it makes me feel cut off.  I can’t be on my e-mail all day, I have too much to do, I like having my phone give a little beep when it wants attention, so I know I can ignore it as long as it’s quiet.

Anyway, the day was just very busy, and mindnumbing, and fairly productive but I couldn’t name what I achieved, I could only name what remains on my to do list.  Which isn’t ideal, really.

Diabetic moment of the day

This morning the guy sitting next to me on the train had a hypo. Weird, right?  I offered him my jelly babies but he’d already eaten some sugar before I saw him test his blood so he was alright.

Episode 96. In which it hurts.

Posted in general health, inanimate objects, Internet with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2009 by diabetses

Two things.

Firstly, I did blog yesterday, I wrote a great blog about dragons, but for some reason it didn’t publish, it just saved as a draft, so I have published it now.  This is not my fault, stupid computers.

Secondly, my head hurts, I have an agonising, squeezing, squinting headache, so I am going to go to bed now.  Enjoy the dragons.

Diabetic moment of the day

Still no word from the nurse, I think she hates me.  Also, I just found out from a friend that the iPhone OS 3.0 will have some kind of widget to record blood sugar readings, and will have some kind of carb counter widget too.  I would very much like to have access to this, so please buy me an iPhone with the OS 3.0.  Thank you.

Episode 80. In which we watch Rush Hour 2.

Posted in Henry, home, inanimate objects, TV with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2009 by diabetses

Rush Hour 2 happens to be on TV right now.  We just ate dinner and it happened to be starting as we sat down so it’s what we’re watching.  In the absence of anything better.

Here are the reasons I like Rush Hour 2.

  • Jackie Chan films have great action, because you know it’s Jackie Chan doing all the stunts, and there’s as much slapstick as there is action.
  • You know you’re going to get a load of excellent bloopers on the end credits.
  • Rush Hour 2 has that girl in it that is quite scarily pretty but manages to look bitter enough to be a cold killer, which of course is what they want you to believe.  I do.
  • The bit with the karaoke.
  • The neck dancing (although I do prefer Rush Hour and War (What Is It Good For?))

That’s all I can think of.  But then this was a bit of a stretch to start with.

Today My Man planted some vegetables in our new garden, and did some laundry, and I continued to unpack, and watched loads of rubbish telly, and had a wonderful nap, and now the cat is asleep on top of a box.  He sleeps on a cushion on the armchair usually, but last night we had a friend round, so we moved the cushion (cat and all) to one of the cardboard boxes we still have lying around from the move.  To start with he was a bit put out but now he seems to have decided that the box is easier to get onto anyway.  It was great fun watching him leap up onto the armchair.  Anyway, if he’s happy sleeping on a box it’s fine with me, although I might get some kind of little table or something for his cushion to go on.  Just cos having a cardboard box lying around for ever and ever will piss me off.

Diabetic moment of the day

None.  Again.  Yay me.  I did have to find a place to keep my stuff though.  I’ve got boxes of needles, boxes of lancets, boxes of test strips, all that crap, and I needed a place to put them.   I’ve created myself a little dressing table on top of my chest of drawers, they have their own little corner.  Yay drugs.

Episode 74. In which we hire a carpet cleaner.

Posted in Henry, home, inanimate objects with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by diabetses

Today we’ve got a proper carpet cleaner, to make sure that we give back our old flat nice and clean, as a good tenant should.  It all sounded like great fun until we actually turned it on, at which point it became a bit scary and “yes, the carpet will be clean, but what are the possible downsides to this?

It’s going fine, don’t get me wrong, My Man’s done the bedroom and it’s drying right now.  It’s just a bit serious, put this much of this liquid in, spray that liquid on the carpet and leave it for ten minutes, mix that much water at no hotter than that temperature in with this liquid and then put your hand on this trigger and so on and so on.  Basically, just begging for me to go and do something idiotic.

While we were doing this Henry appeared outside the back door.  We let him out at the new flat quite soon because he doesn’t explore far, I mean he will do but to start with he stayed in the courtyard, then he strayed up the stairs a bit, then he went into the upstairs garden but always where he could see us, and now he’s exploring around the place.  I think he must’ve heard me or something in the old flat because I looked out the window at one point and he was sitting by the back door staring at me.  He may think he’s been bodysnatched, after all how else can he explain there being a me and My Man at the new place, and also a me and My Man at the new place?  I eventually had to carry him through the front door and back to the new flat.  Hopefully he won’t go back, or at least he won’t hang around if he doesn’t see me in the window gazing back at him.

He’s still getting used to the new place.  To be honest, he’s pooing a lot.  Or at least scratching around in his litter tray a lot.  For now it’s in the hall by the front door, just because there are still boxes everywhere else.  And we must’ve been woken up at least ten times last night by him scratching around.  I think he might be working through a little bit of an unsettled tummy, caused by all the moving around and confusion.  My Man thinks he may be bulimic.

Diabetic moment of the day

We are still without internet, TV or landline.  We are being blamed for this and this morning it was implied very strongly by someone in customer services that we had done something wrong and were making things up and lying about whether or not we’d received a letter about it.  As soon as I can get hooked up to a printer a very strongly-worded letter will be going to the company, with a copy for Ofcom, just for good measure.

Whilst talking to customer services I was made so angry, and so offended, and I was making such an effort to stay rational that I somehow managed to dump all my blood sugar and had to eat a handful of dolly mixtures as soon as I hung up.

So presumably the implication would then be that I had lied about what I knew and didn’t know and the effort of lying was such that I faked a hypoglycaemic attack for attention.