Archive for cough

Episode 115. In which I cough so hard I sprain my appendix.

Posted in general health with tags , , , on December 10, 2009 by diabetses

I’m not well, and I’m going to whine about it.  This is my blog, and therefore the perfect place to do so.
OK, I’ve already whined about it all over the internet, and I actually did cough through Top Gear, but I don’t care, I stumbled across the perfect blog post title and so here we go.  You heard it here last.

Last Monday I got a tickly throat and then spent half an hour sitting on the platform at Haywards Heath freezing the very marrow in my bones cos someone claimed there was a dog on the track.  I don’t get proper colds very often, though, and I’ve only ever had flu once and I’ve had both seasonal and flu jabs so I really thought if I just got indoors and warmed up, had a good dinner and got a good night’s sleep I’d be fine.

However, I woke up on Tuesday feeling like I had slept on a park bench.  I hurt, my head was full of cold, I couldn’t think straight, so I stayed home from work, wrapped up warm and only went out to go to Boots for drugs and Co-op for lots and lots of soup and juice.

I felt a lot better on Wednesday but by Friday was really worn out and stayed home again, which was lucky because on Friday my head cold turned into a nasty cough.

Now it’s Wednesday night (technically Thursday morning) and as it turns out the nasty cough is a chest infection, and having found decreased breath sounds in my left lung, a lovely doctor at the private clinic that my employer has a contract with has given me antibiotics.

Which is all well and good, but as well as the cough, there is also the fact that I am *knackered*.

For almost a week now I’ve been sleeping in ten-minute bouts between waking myself up coughing.  Roughly every 45 minutes I have a full-on hardcore coughing fit that wakes me up fully and has me sitting up, drinking water, catching my breath.


The reason I’m still awake right now is because I’m trying to wear myself out, in the hope that maybe I’ll sleep through some of the lesser throat tickles, or maybe the sleep I get in between will be of a better quality.

Whatever, I can’t get much more tired, it’s worth a risk.

Diabetic moment of the day

I’m taking insulin like it’s going out of fashion, did you know that the active ingredients in some cough mixtures are basically just sugar?  I imagine it’s meant to coat your throat with syrupy goo to douse any tickles that might cause discomfort.  In fact it just tastes relatively pleasant and then it goes away.



Episode 11. In which we discuss cold season etiquette.

Posted in people with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2008 by diabetses

Cold season etiquette is a mixture of common courtesy and common sense.  And yet there clearly isn’t as much of either floating around as there is lurgy.  So here’s hoping some of my co-commuters read this and take the hint.

1. If you are going to cough or sneeze, that’s fine, everyone coughs and sneezes.  But cover your mouth for the love of God, because getting sprayed by a stranger is nothing short of Nasty.  How can you not be disgusted with yourself?  I’m disgusted if I sneeze and don’t get to a tissue in time when I’m home alone, never mind on a train full of people.  And quite often we see you every day.  Well, from now on every time I see you, I’m going to glare at you with disdain, and make a massive show of never sitting anywhere near you.  Ever again.

2. If you’re lucky enough not to have a cold, congratulations.  But don’t sit there like a precious little princess with your face all wrapped up in your scarf, surrounded by coughing, sneezing repugnatrons.  Sit somewhere else.  You look like a twat, and you’re not getting any sympathy when you do catch a cold because shock horror your scarf isn’t antibacterial.

3. Don’t snort.  If your nose is running, blow it.  Have a hanky to hand.  Ask someone if they have a hanky to spare.  I always have a packet of tissues in my bag, I’d much rather give you the entire packet than endure one more minute of listening to you snort.  If you’re absolutely desperate, give a little sniff until you can find a hanky to handle it properly.  But if you sit there snorting to the back of your throat every three minutes, you’re making everyone around you want to gag.  And see point four for a handy little hint about that cough…

4. You don’t have a cough.  The reason you’re coughing is because you keep snorting.  And funnily enough, your throat isn’t enjoying having the entire contents of your infected sinuses fired at it every time you do your hideous little party trick.  You are making yourself cough, and when you cough your throat red raw, it is all your own fault, and when you get a throat infection, it will be entirely self-inflicted.  Save yourself the trouble.  Blow your bloody nose.
This is a complete non sequitur, but I feel I should mention that as I’ve been writing this (and eating my dinner) My Man’s been singing Bon Jovi at me (full blast) and we’ve been watching Thunderbirds.  He has a habit of making up the words he wants the song to have so what used to be a soft-rock housewife’s favourite is now vaguely pornographic, and Lady Penelope has had her character well and truly brought into question.

Diabetic moment of the day

I went out today to get some nibbles for Christmas Day – crisps, crackers, peanuts, that kind of thing.  I was also supposed to get biscuits, but I didn’t.  And here’s why.  I can’t buy biscuits, because I can’t decide what biscuits to buy.  The reason for this is that I want ALL of them.  Even biscuits I’ve never eaten before and never thought I’d like.  If I could, right now, I’d give them a try.

I did buy one packet of biscuits.  Boots Diabetic Chocolate Cookies.  I know that diabetic sweets are still bad for you, it all gets broken down.  But I’m going to eat biscuits this Christmas.  And if it takes me kidding myself that it’s OK because they’re designed for diabetics, then that’s what’s going to happen.  So there.